Silentwaves - thoughts of a caffeine mad mind.

Day 10

2012-01-28T09:24:00.003+08:00

Do you believe that some bad news can actually be part of a big plan for you that ends up with good news?

Today I received a sad news although I could say it really didn't affect me that much anymore, since I saw it coming and also because somehow, something told me that it could be a blessing in disguise. I don't know why I could even think it might be that way, either my instincts are telling me right or perhaps it is just my way of trying to see the bright side of everything.

Whatever it may be though, I hope that next week, I will not have a broken heart.

Here's to not giving up hope...

I'm wondering

2012-01-19T16:43:00.003+08:00

Should I mark this day?

Because if it works out, this day shall bring the greatest gift of my life.

And since I want to think positive and I have a good feeling, I think I should.

There.

Then now I am going to stop thinking about it until the day we know the certainty.

Say a little prayer for me, please.

Wrong shoes but don't stop

2012-01-10T20:12:00.007+08:00

I had been jogging last night for about a kilometer when I noticed that something's different with my jog, it felt like my feet were heavier than usual. Looking down at my feet, I finally realized that I absentmindedly wore my tennis shoes instead of my running shoes (yes there is a big difference :). Of course, there was no more turning back at that point so I decided to just brisk walk my way back.

Isn't life like that? You sometimes find yourself making innocent mistakes along the way but it shouldn't let you stop the journey, instead, just make the most out of it.

Move on

2012-01-07T15:11:00.003+08:00

I've got two major things to start this year.

The first thing is something that already happened last year but which didn't work out and caused me some great emotional and mental trauma. So going through it again makes me want to say "here we go again" but since I want to keep a positive outlook, I try to say "maybe this is the time" instead.

The second thing is something I've been wanting to do for a long time but which I could only do now because now I feel it is the right time for it. Thinking about it happening gives me that exciting feeling of butterflies in my stomach, a familiar feeling that makes me feel alive.

Both things will define a new chapter of my life and although the first thing is actually my greatest dream right now, it is the second thing that I invest more feelings at because of the uncertainty that the first thing has and I don't want to have my hopes up. Rather, I'd like to treat the first thing as a bonus if it happens as obsessing about it has made me put my life on hold and I shouldn't anymore do that. The second thing, at least, is something I have some control of.

So there, that's me moving on and hopefully, this brings me to where I want to be, and that is, where I'll be happy.

Starting 2012 positively

2012-01-05T21:31:00.003+08:00

1) Move on.
2) Talk to God more.
3) Sleep early (and wake up early).
4) Say more good things (and if it's bad, just don't say it!)
5) Do at least one good deed a day.
6) Give more to charity.
7) Organize.
8) Floss.
9) Cook more at home and eat out less.
10) Significantly reduce my caffeine intake.
11) Bring my running shoes on my travels.
12) Write.

The Silence

2011-11-21T18:42:00.000+08:00

It's been the longest I've been silent, I believe (not that it matters, anyway, since I am not someone important).

Unlike the past incidents when my silence was due to my lack of time to sit down and reflect, this time it was the opposite.I have lots of time to sit down now and reflect, but I choose not to because the reflections I see are not so happy.I used to be able to write more when I am being emotional, but I am resisting it now. I am resisting the urge to put downthese thoughts because I am afraid to admit them to myself. I am afraid that I will not be able to take them back.I'm afraid that my worst thought is actually my fate.

I cannot believe that I am back to this state. I have been begging God, begging Him to please be gentle on me now.I am not so strong anymore, I am getting old and tired. Fate's jokes on me are not anymore funny, I have stoppedto laugh.

I am now just a drifting soul who doesn't know where to go, what to do after going on a downward spiral. I have lost myself once again.

Yokoso! Japan!

2011-02-13T17:49:00.018+08:00

Hello from Terminal 1 of Narita Airport!

Finally I am here not anymore as a transit passenger (I've been to this airport 8 times for my travels to/from the United States during the past years). I am now a bona fide traveler of Japan and I and hubby are here now waiting for our flight back to Singapore. This concludes our 9 day trip to this lovely country. This winter holiday is actually a treat from my hubby so I could unwind and take a break after having gone through a stressful job (awww ♥♥♥).

Anyways, I would like to share with you some photos representing the highlights of each of the days we were there:

Day 1 - Our first destination was Kyoto. And lo and behold, I discovered one of the best discoveries of all time for cola addicts like me: the zero sugar, caffeine free Coke! I first discovered this heavenly drink in California back in the year 2005 and I tried looking for it here in Singapore but nada. I wish I had a way to hoard a hundred bottles of this back to Singapore but I only managed to squeeze in 6 bottles in my already bursting luggage :p

Day 2 - We went touring around Kyoto and we didn't miss walking around Gion, the popular area of geishas. And of course, there was one thing we needed to do while in this area - dress up like one! So that's me in the photo as a maiko, an apprentice geisha ;) Malvin dressed up as a samurai.

Day 3 - We went to Nara to see the ancient Buddhist temples. Nara is also popular for having wild deers roaming around as since ancient times, the people in Nara believed that the deer is a heavenly animal. There were soooo many deers to our surprise, really. They were sooo cute and gentle and you can buy deer snacks and feed them. Some of them are so polite that they even bow to you! But of course, there are warning signs like in the picture above to remind people that they are still wild deers and so caution is still needed. I love it how the Japanese just makes everything cute including warning signs like this.

Day 4 - The start of our stay in Tokyo. We went to Akihabara district, which is popular for electronics, computers, anime, manga and video games. At night, Akihabara is full of neon lights and oh my gosh, you'll see lots and lots of adult shops. In the photo is me in my sexiest form ever, hahaha :p

Day 5 - Another one of my childhood dreams came true! We went to Sanrio Puroland - the land of Hello Kitty and friends! Weee!!! I felt like I was back to being 8 years old. I love love loved this place and even if the place was designed for kids, we were surprised with how profound the messages were in their shows. In the photo is Kitty and her family: (from left to right) Mama, Kitty's mother; Daniel, Kitty's brother (and all along I thought Daniel was Kitty's boyfriend!); Kitty; Mimi, her twin sister (you can distinguish Mimi from Kitty by looking at which ear they have a bow on); and Papa, Kitty's father.

Day 6 - Do you know the story of Hachiko? If not, better google it now! He's Japan's most famous dog and his story is so heartwarming that everyone loved him so much they named a train station exit after him. The Hachiko exit in Shibuya train station is where you'll find a statue of Hachiko and the most famous Shibuya crossing, the busiest road junctions I've ever seen in my life. It's actually quite fun joining the throngs and throngs of people crossing the street.

Day 7 - And then there was snow! Although we did experience some light snowing in Tokyo, in Nikko was the real deal. This was actually my first time to experience walking and playing around in snow. The snow started out mildly when we arrived there but it got stronger in the late afternoon. And although we were freezing after walking 1.5 kilometers, it was truly a fun and memorable experience. I found myself singing Christmas songs in my mind, hehehe :p

Day 8 - If there is one touristy thing that I am happy to skip in my travels, it would be going to museums. But if all museums are like the Ramen Museum, my gosh, I would definitely not miss it! Hahaha, yeah, the Ramen Museum is where you can eat different kinds of ramen where each type is a specialty from a particular part of Japan. Don't be surprised if you'd have to queue for 45 minutes to get a bowl of ramen though because this is seriously the queueing time to get one, but definitely worth it!

Day 9 - After one week of eating Japanese foods, we decided to have Western food for our last meal in Japan. Where else? Hard Rock Cafe, of course. ;)

Ahhh, Japan, oh Japan. I so much loved every day of this trip. I love Japan, I love the politeness and friendliness of the Japanese people. I will definitely come back here again and again and again. :)

Second chance

2011-01-31T11:05:00.004+08:00

The rain has been pouring heavily, the clouds are dark.

But in my mind I see the sun shining brightly over a clear, blue sky.

Fireproofing your marriage

2011-01-23T22:31:00.000+08:00

Another heart and soul touching movie I discovered lately was Fireproof, made by the same creators of Facing the Giants.

A marriage starts with two people in love. But the question is, how do you keep the flame of love burning without being burned by the fire?

You put God in the center of your married life.

This afternoon, Malvin and I exchanged wedding vows again in a simple ceremony under Roman Catholic rites, as witnessed by our parents. This is a blessing that I never expected would happen but it did, in God's perfect timing. And I feel that this marks a start of an even better married life as this is God's way of making things start falling into place, in accordance to His great plan.

*****

FYI - According to the Parish priest who officiated our marriage here, under the 1983 Canon Law of the Catholic Church, a Roman Catholic can marry a non-Roman Catholic under the Roman Catholic marriage rites as long as the non-Roman Catholic vows that he/she will respect his/her spouse's religion and allow his/her spouse to practice it.

The Parish priest said this law applies to the Philippines too. I was surprised to learn this and I'm sure it will be to most Filipinos too.

This is the Day of the Start

2011-01-20T22:34:00.011+08:00

Hey hey hey! Guess what?

For the first time, somebody successfully took a blood sample from my arm joint! Woohoo! Thank you to the very professional and friendly nurses at KKH. It feels so great to feel so normal! :)

It was a Senior Nurse who was able to find my hidden vein. She said that actually it's not that it can't be done, it just takes time and probably those who took my blood before just didn't want to bother. But the not so good news is that I still can't donate blood because she said for big amounts of blood, they would really need the big, visible vein. Oh well, I guess I'd have to do some more weightlifting and maybe someday that big vein will finally show itself, hehehe.

Today is such a very good day of hope. I feel not only normal, but moreso, special. I've met nice and pleasant people today whom I know, will give joy to our life.

When faced with your giants

2011-01-18T19:36:00.007+08:00

Facing the Giants

A great movie about facing your biggest challenges in life by surrendering it all to God.

If there is one movie to describe my life right now, it would be this...

I do hope and pray that I'll have the same ending.

"..And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him." - Grant Taylor

P.S. You don't need to be a football fan to love it. Believe me.

A matter of being thanked or hated

2011-01-13T10:00:00.003+08:00

As I was walking my way out of the second level of the parking area to go to office, I saw a man seated on the driver's seat, his eyes closed, all the windows of the car closed. I froze on my steps and for a couple of seconds I contemplated on whether to check on him or continue about my way.

The parking area was not totally enclosed, and so there is no risk really that he could get carbon monoxide poisoning so perhaps the man was just taking a nap. So I started to make that first step to walk away, however, a voice inside me told me what if there's something wrong with the guy? He was still wearing his seat belt and he looked stiff.

I walked towards his car, peeked through his window. His radio was on. I looked for a sign that he's breathing...ok his chest is moving, good. What should I do next? Maybe I could go now? Well I need to make sure nothing's wrong with him, shouldn't I?

I knocked on the car window. Knock knock knock.
No response. Yikes!
Again, knock knock knock.
No response still. Oh no!
Knock knock knock.
He moved and opened his eyes.

I made a thumbs up sign to ask if he's ok. He shook his head and hands and looked like he was irritated. I think it meant, he's fine and for me to leave him alone. So I went about my way and I am now at my office desk typing this.

I don't feel bad even if the man might hate me now for disturbing his nap. And yep, I didn't expect he'd thank me for checking on him. But I just feel good that I did what I had to do.

Have a Little Faith

2011-01-09T13:20:00.015+08:00

This is the first book that I have finished reading for the year 2011 and I can't be anymore happy to know that this is the perfect read for me to start this year. This book spoke to me straight to the heart..and soul.

It is amazing how I saw myself in Mitch Albom's thoughts. Like him, I had been skeptical with religion and the "holy" people who run it. The more I saw the world, the more I had learned about different kinds of faith and I made this "being open minded" an excuse to turn cold on my own faith. My intention to become neutral has made me forget about that strong, burning passion of feelings that connect me to God.

Have a Little Faith is not at all about preaching religion, nor does it even impose for you to believe in God. We all have our differences in beliefs. In this book based on his real life experiences, Mitch Albom shows us that faith isn't what separates us, rather, it is actually what brings us back together.

*****

Just a little note:

There are two types of book cover available for this book, the American release and the UK release. Between the two, I would recommend the American release with the brown cover (as the image above). You'll know why when you read the Author's note. I'm not sure why they even released a different cover in the first place.

The Drive of Life

2011-01-07T17:48:00.014+08:00

I know it will not always going to be a smooth ride so now I am bracing myself to get ready so that even when the journey gets rocky I will still enjoy the ride.

How can I be sure? Because while I am the holder of the steering wheel, I've got on my passenger seat the best navigator of life, the Almighty Lord, our God.

3 seconds of serenity

2011-01-03T16:34:00.001+08:00

It was a heavy downpour and she had no way to cross that 5 meters of gap without getting wet.

So she walked. No she did not run.

And that brief moment of raindrops touching her skin, her hair, her face, her naked shoulders..gave her a soothing memory of a child who grew up dancing in the rain.

Happy New Year, pull your ear! :)

2011-01-01T01:12:00.012+08:00

I got that from hubby. He said it's a greeting his family has come up with because it rhymes. I find it cute that he also pronounces ear as year :p

So here we are, the start of another year. Hubby and I met this year with a prayer. At midnight we looked up in the sky and prayed to God to grant us our hearts' wishes. I feel that indeed the year 2011 will be good to us.

My new year's resolution is to have a positive outlook in life and to strengthen my faith. The year 2010 was quite challenging, and I've seen how I made these challenges weaken me. I let it drain my positivity in life. I watched my life go by without living it. I had sulked down on special ocassions instead of celebrating them. I did not appreciate my blessings and I focused on frustrating on what I didn't have. I risked straining personal relationships. I made myself feel like my life has been pointless.

I will not let these continue anymore.

I will be happy and stay happy. I will be patient and I will always be thankful. I do not have to be insecure.

I will trust God. I will keep reminding myself of the Big Plan.

Cheers to becoming the new improved me! :)

~Wishing you all a great 2011~

Final Answer

2010-12-28T21:59:00.005+08:00

Question: When is it time to quit your job?

a. When you started out with a very good positive outlook, tried your very best to contribute to the improvement of your team and be miss congeniality but you still ended up being treated unprofessionally?

b. When you experience stereotyping and racist remarks?

c. When you are already getting nightmares about work?

d.When your confidence is getting trashed which results to the start of straining your personal relationships?

e. When you can't sleep anymore because you are scared of what lies ahead on the next working day?

f. And when you're able to sleep you still wake up earlier than your alarm due to anxiety on what would happen at the start of business day?

g. When you feel like having a heart attack whenever the phone rings? And your phone is constantly ringing.

h. When your left eye starts to have involuntary twitching at the thought of going back to work?

i. When you lose your appetite?

j. All of the above.

I have tendered my resignation from work today and this time, I am not taking it back. This would not be a surprising news for those who know me, I guess. I think by now I have already gotten the reputation of being a job quitter. I know it gives the impression that I give up so easily when things get tough or that my expectations are too high. I've started to doubt myself too but then I now know I shouldn't.

I don't think I am being a coward for quitting because it actually takes a lot of courage to stand by your principles and retain your self esteem than just hold on to the agony that is eating your dignity piece by piece.

I am taking another big risk, I know. I still have not forgotten the difficulties I faced looking for a new job a few months back. I am bracing myself for this, yes, but I am still hopeful that I will finally find the right match.

As Kenny Rogers said, "Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great."

And I don't think he was talking about chicken. ;-)

In Between

2010-12-26T22:10:00.010+08:00

I have less than 24 hours to enjoy this break. I am not looking forward to going back to the life I left back there. Yet I also know that it's just a matter of a few more days and I'll start to be uneasy here as well.

I feel so lost. A feeling so familiar. That which I felt a couple of years ago, that which I felt a few more years before that, as well as when I was in my teens. But the big difference now is that I feel so weak. I feel like just giving up the fight, because it hurts so much. I know I used to be stronger than this, and I wonder what has become of me that I am now like this, eaten up by insecurities and...envy.

Yes, envy for the things that I don't have. And I am not even talking about material things. I don't know why now all these regrets are now surfacing up. Well ok, I think I do know why...because things are not happening as how I hoped it would be so I start to doubt myself and the big plan for me. It is because I am in this phase of the in between, that awkward state where I belong to neither this nor that group. And I do not know how long I will be in this phase. This is what's killing me.

I feel so dead inside. So cold. I think this is my defense mechanism acting up. My heart has been covered up to withstand those little cuts. However, by doing this, it has also made me become jaded.

I know I lack faith. I should believe and be hopeful. I am trying my best to, really. But then whenever I just start to be on track again, something will just suddenly pop the bubble I am at and then I find myself face to face with what I was protecting myself from. It is not fair, it being even just coincidental.

What has happened to me? What will happen to me?

I need your help. Please, save me.

All I Want For Christmas...

2010-12-18T16:54:00.001+08:00

...is a miracle.

Cold Water and The Prayer

2010-12-13T20:39:00.003+08:00

I thought I was doing ok already but yesterday it came back creeping on me, consuming me, trying to drain out the little happiness that I was holding on to for motivation. I know what started it, then I saw what was coming, and yet I didn't resist it. Instead, I embraced self pity like an old friend.

Then today I got perhaps what I deserved for being such a baby. Cold water splashed right onto my face. Ice cold water that froze my heart. It hurt because I didn't expect that the source would be from where I used to get warmth. I realized that there are really circumstances in life that you can never really expect others to understand until they can actually relate with it. There are some longing that you'll never know will ache until you are already feeling them.

The day went by so slow but thankfully I got thru the day with the prayer below:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

And this Bible verse gave me comfort:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

December six to ten

2010-12-09T23:30:00.003+08:00

Monday - I quit my job.

Tuesday - My boss talked some sense to me. It worked. So now I've still got a job.

Wednesday - Hubby got summoned by the traffic police officer for crossing the road on a red light (yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is Singapore!). Hubby was very frustrated. I talked some sense to him. It worked. Not just for him but for me as well.

Thursday (today) - Took the train from work and went to Orchard Road by myself. Went for some Christmas shopping, had Peppermint mocha frap in Starbucks, wrote down in my journal.
Enjoyed this very much, haven't done this in a long time. Took mental note to do this from time to time.
Happy again.

Friday (tomorrow) - I hope the happiness still lasts.

Easy A and Season Parking

2010-11-27T00:39:00.003+08:00

I watched the movie Easy A tonight tonight. Loved it very much.

Then I thought about how to stop my way to obesity.

Suddenly, I remembered that I forgot to pay for my season parking at work.

The three sentences state something on their own but then they are actually connected to form one big plan.

Five days of 31

2010-11-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

Triggered by a glass of champagne and bad service, she could no longer hold it.
All emotions poured out as he drove them away from that rabbit hole.
Insecurities, inhibitions and fears engulfed her like a dark cloud.
What a sad day, why did she even let it end that way?
Because she felt weak, so weak that she just gave up the fight.
It was her lack of faith that she let preside.
For things are beyond her control again and everything seem to be in plateau.
For there's this one enormous thing, the one which defines it all, that which is holding everything up. And only patience can pacify the restlessness it brings.
And so she prays, that everything will fall into place once again at the right time...hopefully, soon enough.

The Continuous Search for Inspiration

2010-11-16T14:41:00.002+08:00

An old feeling has resurfaced, one which was thought was already outgrown.
A feeling that has been there from innocence to ignorance, until jadedness made it forgotten.
It is amazing (and amusing) to realize that it had been there all the while, just in different forms.
It's all the same, the giving of trust..but now with more caution, more defense, something that has been learned from the years, to avoid falling in a pit.
It shouldn't be that way.
So just take things lightly.
Enjoy the confidence it brings.

Question of the day

2010-11-11T20:14:00.006+08:00

Will you attend a bridal shower you got invited to, for a wedding you are not invited to?

Curious.

Bathroom Specs

2010-11-03T21:49:00.004+08:00

There's been one thing I've been wanting to do since we moved into our condo unit last year - renovate the masterbedroom bathroom. I think it should be the first thing that one should do after buying a resale property.

Our unit is ten years old and although the bathroom is still relatively ok, you can already see that it needs some upgrading. Since we didn't have budget yet for renovations when we moved in, I was thinking of at least just even replacing the toilet bowl seat but apparently our toilet bowl shape is not the usual and we are having a hard time finding a toilet seat match! Anyways, now I am really obsessing on getting a total bathroom overhaul and I've been bugging hubby more and more about it and we've started to save up for this.

So before I lose the little post-it where I listed down my bathroom specifications, let me write them down here:

Place to conveniently hang 2 towels
His and hers sinks
Sliding mirror cabinet
First aid kit storage
Cleaning materials
Detached bathtub (currently, what we have is cemented on the floor)
A sitting area (to conveniently wash/put on lotion on legs)
Shampoo and soap holder that would not take a lot of space and would not rust
Bidet
White light and dim lights
Rainshower style shower plus option for the movable shower
A place for the clothes hamper
Magnifying mirror
No wooden and steel materials as much as possible

All of these would be a challenge given that our bathroom is quite small but anything is possible with very good interior design.

Now I need to start looking for materials and good contractors to get an idea how much this would cost.

Just count your blessings instead of sheep

2010-11-01T22:49:00.004+08:00

When I worry and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

~o~o~o~

Praying for a miracle to happen before the candle stops burning....

Adultology

2010-10-25T20:45:00.013+08:00

It's been a year now since my hubby and I purchased our house and so we have started to receive mails on renewal of insurances.

Hubby: Hon, one day next week, let's sit down and look over our house files and discuss which insurance we need to renew.

Me: Really!? But that's such an adult thing to do!

(Hubby suddenly looked like he had the word flabbergasted spelled all over his face )

Me: Oh yeah, I forgot we're adults now. Hihihi (grins and bats eyelashes) :P

The past year has really made me feel like I've fully become an adult, from the combo of getting married and turning 30, then managing our mortgages, the house, the car, etc etc. Sometimes, there are quick flashes in my mind to be stubborn and refuse to accept that I am already a full fledged adult but then I quickly dismiss it as I know I prefer my life now than before during my immature days when I felt lost.

One thing that I noticed about being an adult is that life becomes a little bit slow paced than usual. Maybe it's because being an adult makes one be less impulsive. I used to love to try out rollercoasters and those crazy rides in amusement parks during my younger days, heck perhaps I would've even tried bunjee jumping and sky diving if I was given the opportunity to, the scarier, the better. But now, I just chicken out on these kind of stuff. Last month, when hubby convinced me to ride an indoor roller coaster (Revenge of the Mummy) in Universal Studios Singapore with him at the frontmost seats, I almost hated him during the ride. I was so scared! But then hearing his laughter during the ride was enough for me to calm down my nerves and tell myself to just enjoy that exciting moment. Funny how getting older makes one fear for their dear life, hehehe.

So being an adult means to be more critical in making decisions in life. No wonder it can be a tempting excuse for becoming boring and mundane. But of course, we shouldn't let that happen, right? We should never forget to remain young at heart.

Gosh, what have I just blabbered about?! Now I wonder what I would be writing when I turn 40! Aaack! :s

Hello Technopark

2010-10-12T20:02:00.004+08:00

First it was in the academe, then to the corporate world. Now, is another new adventure: the technopark.

What does this mean?

It means I now work somewhere in the suburbs (away from the central business district) working with local clientele. Instead of working to support people in Finance, my work now makes me deal with Property Managers, Administrative Officers, Engineers and Technicians. And instead of being sent to offices outside Singapore from time to time, I now go to the remote areas around Singapore (now I understand what my hiring manager meant when he asked me during my job interview if I was willing to travel, hehehe).

It's quite a change actually - the work environment, the culture, the pace, the customers...I've been used to working with a global team where we were remotely working with each other. Now, I work with a local team, where we are all sitting together in one area and you can just walk over to one's desk to talk to each other (it is quite funny though to realize that physical proximity does not equate to responsiveness nor to rappor). I am definitely out of my comfort zone right now, being in an industry that I am not familiar about and working on a technology that I don't have technical knowledge about. It shouldn't really be a big deal though, since my role now is more into project management (however, that's another funny thing, being a manager without the title and managing people who are not reporting to you).

Oh well, as what Forrest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". Yup, not until you dip your hand into that box and see what type of chocolate you got. As for me, on the good day I can learn to like peanut butter chocolate but on a bad day I'd consider throwing it away.

So what day is it today?

Cocococoffeeeeeeeeee

2010-10-06T14:08:00.003+08:00

(*Read with a husky, soft voice*)

I want coffeeeeeee...
My eyes are getting so heavyyyyyyy
I need coffeeeeeee...

Two more hours to burn and it's driving me crazyyyyyyy

I have no choice, it is inevitable this time to get myself some coffee...

Ok, to explain what rubbish I've just written above, it's been a month now since I decided to cut my daily dosage of coffee.

Why am I forsaking coffee now? How can I be the coffeefairy if I don't have coffee?

Well, i'm not really saying goodbye to coffee. Just that this is part of my decision to significantly reduce my caffeine intake. So actually besides coffee I'm also holding off from tea and my other favorite drink, Coke light. I know I can't just go cold-turkey on coffee (i'll go berserk for sure!) so I'm taking this abstinence gradually. I still allow myself to have coffee once a week and on emergency situations (e.g. on a sleepy day at work).

It is not easy to give up coffee especially when you know you have an endless supply of it in the office. There's one time that I really wanted to have one cup because the aroma was sooo inviting so to satisfy myself I got one cup indeed, but I just took a sip and then just smelled the rest of it. Hahaha, pathetic? Nah, that's what I call convincing myself that I am not doing this because I want to punish myself. I need to be healthy and fit and this is one part of making it happen.

I can do this!

Right?

When will it be my turn?

2010-10-02T18:26:00.003+08:00

I thought it was today but apparently, it's not (again).

*Big sigh* :,(

Fattaya

2010-09-22T22:49:00.004+08:00

One little remark made me do three hundred crunches and shed a thousand tears. And instead of enjoying the rest of the evening here in Pattaya, Thailand (yes, the pun with the title is very much intentional), I am in blogosphere about to rant out.

I have always been fat for most of my life. While in Western countries people would not even consider me overweight, unfortunately, I am Asian, moreso, a Southeast Asian, and in this part of the world's standards slim is the beautiful. And if you're not slim, then you're considered fat.

The amazing thing is, when you're actually obese, nobody would tell to your face that you're fat. But for people like me who were born with the chubby genes, there is always a generous greeting of about how you look: "Tumataba tayo ah, mukhang hiyang ka sa ___ "

English Translation: Hey, you look fatter, seems like you're quite comfortable with [insert whatever recent change in your life like being in a new relationship, getting married or having moved to a new location].

Never mind if you had just saved the world, as long as you have gained weight, that's the first thing to be noticed about you (especially by Filipinos, it's a part of our culture which I hate).

This is so unfair. I just eat like a normal person and yet I still gain weight. I already tried cutting down on food, but as I have observed, it was useless. I will never be skinny unless I become anorexic. I am just really one of those unlucky ones with slow metabolism and therefore we need to exert extra effort to not keep on ballooning by doing lots of exercise. My being short in height makes it even worse...and don't let me start talking about the mockings and sufferings I had because of my height, I have already gotten over that insecurity in my early adult life when I finally accepted there is nothing I can do about that.

Ok, fine. I guess I also just have to accept the fact that I am one of those who have to work harder to look physically acceptable. I can't afford to just relax each day and enjoy those lazy times with my husband. I have to run my a** off and burn those calories everyday. I have to sweat like a pig (no pun intended this time but heck, even this figure of speech is so mean!) to make up for my very laid back metabolic rate.

Arrrgh!!! I want to look great!!!

Off with this ten kilos!!!

For Grandpa

2010-09-20T22:43:00.009+08:00

I wish I was there last Friday to read this out to you personally:

I remember we first met five years ago during spring when we visited you in your mobile house. My first impression was wow, you live on your own, and you drive your car at 94 years old. You must be Superman (and now I realize where Captn Marvel got his powers from). I remember regretting not having a picture of us taken together.

I shouldn't have been surprised that when you saw me again in summer the following year, you still remember me..and more. You remembered A LOT about me. I remember another regret on this trip - I should've shaken that salad dressing bottle before pouring onto your salad, because you made a face during dinner when we asked you how you liked it.

The memory of winter the following year is still fresh in my mind. We spent Christmas and New Year together with the family, it was one of the best holidays of my life. And then we celebrated your birthday, where we surprised you with a candle lit cake...I remember you shedding a tear because you were really touched. I didn't tell you this, but seeing you looking happy that night touched my heart.

The last time we saw each other was early fall two years ago. And there is one thing I will never forget during this time - you unintentionally locked me out of the house while I was busy emoting at the front yard. This memory always brings a smile to my face and this is how I will remember you, a grandpa who always bring a smile to our face.

You lived a full life, Grandpa, and I am very thankful to God, that even for just a short time, I had been given privilege to be, in a little way, part of it.

I miss being a bookworm

2010-08-16T21:21:00.022+08:00

I have not been as actively reading as I used to be during my single (and lonely) days. But I think I better revive my reading activities because one of the things I have observed about myself lately is that I now often find myself at a lost for words - both written and verbal. Worse, I think I am starting to develop an attention deficit disorder in reading. I find that it's now not easy for me to just give my full attention to something I'm reading. I get easily distracted and impatient that most of the time I end up skipping some paragraphs when reading short articles and then when reading books, I often have to re-read a paragraph or two before it fully sinks in. This is not a good trend at all!

Hence, I should really have to revive my literary reading life.

So to spark some inspiration, let me start then by enumerating a couple of books (oh my gosh, only a couple!?!) I had managed to read over the past few months:

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

A bestseller and highly recommended by a girl friend, I got very curious and finally got myself a copy. I enjoyed reading this book. It was written with such a witty and candid and yet profound way. I think free spirited women will be able to relate to this and contrary to feedback I read that this book is cultish, it does not at all impose what the author's views on religion and philosophy at all. In fact, I liked how the way Elizabeth Gilbert showed her openness to exploring different ways of showing faith. Furthermore, contrary to another feedback I read saying that the book was just about the author's whinings, I liked how she actually honestly wrote her thoughts and feelings in this book like she was telling it to a very close friend and so as a reader, I felt that connection with her as she talked about her real life experiences.

As like what usually happens next to bestseller books, it has been made into a movie already which is already showing the US but which will only be shown in Singapore in a couple of months, I believe, starring, who else of course, but Julia Roberts. Personally I think the producers should have picked a more low profile actress for the role but well, I'll save my thoughts on this on a movie review perhaps.

Anyhow, this book's sequel, Committed, is also already available. I think I'd like to read that too.

The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho

I got the book when I saw it one time I went to the bookstore. I didn't even know that Paulo Coelho was launching this new book. Anyhow, I got the time to finally read this while on a two week honeymoon in Mauritius.

I would have to say that this book made me see a new side of Paulo Coelho's writing. Although it has his usual deep and calm tone, it also has the feel of a mystery thriller book. It uses realism and dwells on modern day scenarios, quite different from the usually mystical writing style of the author.

I am not really sure why I couldn't put down the book and I just continued to read on and on. Maybe I was curious about the life of movies and showbusiness or maybe I just wanted to know how the story ends. I can't really say that I loved it since I found the story too tragic and hope wrecking. It was not your usual good wins, evil loses because Paulo Coelho left it up to the reader to decide who are the bad guys and who are the good guys and if death is the end or the start.

Under the sink

2010-08-10T23:27:00.006+08:00

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?

Detergent, insect repellant, mutipurpose cleaner neatly placed on one side, sponges on the other side. It looks absolutely normal, right?

Apparently, we're wrong! Hehehe.

Detergents, bleaches, insect killers, multipurpose cleaners...these are all chemicals which may actually emit nonvisible fumes which can affect the quality of water in the tap. And if you get the water you drink from the tap, then you know what that means.

Would you believe I actually learned this from my company's New Staff Induction Programme? Yup, since my company now is into facility management, I get to learn workplace health and safety standards which I can apply at home. Cool huh? ;)

Deja vu

2010-08-09T14:00:00.005+08:00

It's 2pm already and the thought of eating seem to still not appeal.
It feels like waking up a few years back. Those times when the world was just a fishbowl and you can only walk until where the string takes you.

I feel weak and scared. Everything's in a mess again. And it's my fault again.
I wish I don't see things the way I see them.
It hurts to be different. I wish I wasn't different. It would be easy then to be understood.

I wish I was just in a faraway place right now. A place where nobody knows me, a place where I don't need to ask to live up to expectations to be appreciated, a place where I won't be able to hurt anyone by expressing myself.

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
(By: B.Benjamin/S.Marcus/C.Cadwell )

Baby, you understand me now
if sometimes you see that I'm mad.
Don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel?
When everything goes wrong, you see some bad.

But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good;
oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

You know sometimes, baby, I'm so carefree
with a joy that's hard to hide.
And then sometimes it seems again that all I have is worry,
and then you're bound to see my other side.

But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good;
oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

If I seem edgy,
I want you to know,
I never meant to take it out on you.
Life has its problems,
and I get more than my share;
but that's one thing I never mean to do
'cause I love you.

Oh baby, I'm just human.
Don't you know I have faults like anyone?
Sometimes I find myself alone regretting
some little foolish thing;
some simple thing that I've done.

But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good;
oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

Don't let me be misunderstood.
I try so hard,
so don't let me be misunderstood.

Send button

2010-08-05T21:57:00.004+08:00

People you love may offend or hurt you without them even being aware of it. Should you even tell them about it, while at the back of your mind you know that there is a big risk of creating a ripple in your relationship with them out of saying your sentiments?

The words were already written, but at the last minute I decided not to hit that send button. I will just keep quiet until I can still bear it.

Reason Out

2010-07-20T23:54:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I wish I was a bit more confrontational when people scold me for doing something that frustrates them when in fact i was just following directions. Like last week I went to the person in charge to get the application form for the season parking in the office building. I specifically asked her where I should pay when I get the form accomplished and signed. She told me I could just go to her.

So that's exactly what I did. This morning, I went to her desk and what did she tell me? "Next time go to the carpark office to pay". I was dumbfounded so it took me some time before I softly said "You told me to go to you to pay".

I wish I could have said it with more conviction and with more emphasis to make sure she'd recall having that conversation with me last week. But I was raised with the virtue of not talking back to elders as a sign of respect. Even if I've been living here for 5 years now, here where a lot of people seem to have this natural instinct to tell it to your face how wrong you are once they got the chance, I am still not used to it. Should I perhaps adapt and be like them? Hmmmn, I think I should just change my perspective.

It's not a cross...

2010-07-16T23:23:00.006+08:00

...it's actually a bowtie, the Chevrolet logo, that is.

Tonight we picked up our new baby, a Sports Series Aveo. I just love those sexy 16 inch tire rims! :D

Thank you so much to my hubby for making another dream of mine come true!

Remember four years ago, I thought that the chances of me having a car in Singapore was almost nil? Well, things can really suddenly change once you meet the right one ;-)

Although it was short, it was sweet

2010-07-04T21:25:00.001+08:00

It lasted only for a few minutes but it was one of those brief moments of ecstasy...

My grip was not tight, it was just light and right...

I felt like i was floating in the clouds...

ahhhh....yessss....

Then I switched off the engine after parking the car. hehe. :P

It was my first time to drive in Singapore and I loved it!
Although it didn't last long and probably I had driven at most a kilometer, it all felt soooo nice and I know I want to do this again and again!

Thank you for the test drive, Chevrolet. hehehe. ;D

What A Week!

2010-06-22T21:23:00.008+08:00

My dormant, predictable, routinary life suddenly shooted into a very much active, spontaneous mode last week. With starting a new job, hearing the news of the death of a loved one, a visit to the hospital to see another loved one who underwent a major surgery, confirming some news that I know I'd be envious of, flying to the Philippines over the weekend and seeing people I miss and confronting those I wish I could avoid, I could only think of one word to best describe all of these - overwhelming.

There was a great degree of play of emotions from happy to sad, scared to confident, angry to calm, notwithstanding the mental as well as physical impacts. But thankfully, I didn't get rattled and evenmore, it was the positive emotion that dominated.

This week, I am hoping that it would be more manageable and I'd be able to get adjusted to my new non-dormant routine. It is both exciting and challenging, I hope I'd get the hang of it.

I think I would. ;)

For Lola

2010-06-15T20:30:00.002+08:00

Blessed be your soul

As you join the angels in heaven.

Thank you for all the love and care,

For all the memories we share.

I will remember you for your warm embrace,

I will remember you for how you kissed us with your face.

Your smile and your stories will forever be our grace.

Break-In

2010-06-10T16:09:00.026+08:00

Today I wore my new high-heeled shoes and much as I hoped that this pair of shoes would not give me blisters on my feet, unfortunately, as like most of that type of shoe I've bought, it did.

But it did not matter, because I wore it this morning when I went out to sign an offer of employment. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, by next week I will start my new job. Yipee! :) (*dance of joy*)

That pair of shoes was actually something I bought for a job that I thought was for me last month but which I rejected because of a lot of bad surprises and ultimately an unacceptable contract clause which I believe was already bordering illegal. Clearly it wasn't meant for me because I was meant to have what I have prayed for.

Everything makes sense now, all that effort and waiting...it was all worth it. What I'm feeling right now is exactly how I imagined I'd feel -- like finding the key which would give way to opening more happiness in fulfilling more dreams. God has again shown me how things which are meant for me would happen at the right time. His way always amazes me, I can never guess how He would answer my prayers, but He does, just not in the way I thought I'd have it. I really have to remind myself that faith is about believing without asking how and when.

Thank You, Lord. I am so blessed. :)

My First Baking Adventure

2010-06-08T21:14:00.036+08:00

I've always wanted to learn baking but I never got the chance to learn it at home when I was growing up. I don't even have a memory of my mother baking something. We had an electric stove with oven but which we stopped using since I was about seven years old I think. I clearly remember my mother telling us that it was shorted and she got electrecuted while using it. And that was the start of my subconscious fear of electric stoves and ovens. We never bought a new oven. But I've always been looking at baking stuff eversince, subconsciously longing to try to bake as well. I remember being excited during my teens when I saw an ad on TV about a chocolate cake that doesn't need baking but just needed to cool in the refrigerator. I wanted that. But well, I never got to try it because it never makes it to our grocery list.

Anyhow...today is the day I finally hugged baking hello :)

Ok, the blueberry muffins I baked were from an instant mix but still I am very proud of my achievement. It's the way to start, isn't it? It was so fun and relaxing to see the muffins puff out of the baking tray. And I really didn't expect that it was going to be this easy. I thought the challenge was to take out the muffins from the tray without crushing them (I didn't use paper baking cups) but surprise surprise, the muffins came out of the tray without almost an effort to pull them out. I am so happy with my non-stick baking tray, very good quality indeed, I didn't even have to put butter.

Or maybe because I had a good brand of batter mix? Thank you, Betty Crocker for making my first baking experience a success! :) The recipe and instructions were so easy to follow. The only challenge I had was to convert farenheit to celcius and to wipe off the blueberry extract on the sink (careful on the blueberries, they stain!) The tips on using low cholesterol, low fat ingredients were great. I used soy milk instead of normal milk and I used olive oil instead of a normal vegetable oil. Although I did a little tweak for my second batch of muffins because I noticed that the first batch were a bit toasted from the suggested temperature and duration.

first set, baked in 20 minutes at 200 degrees celcius

second set, baked in 16 minutes at 190 degrees celcius

Ahhh, I am so inspired that my next goal is to bake from scratch. Let's see if I could actually make my own batter. Perhaps I'm a natural baker? Hehehe ;p

I'm a Thunder Lizard!

2010-06-07T20:33:00.005+08:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!

I just broke my record! Woohoo!

I discovered Dynomite eight years ago during my programmer days when I needed some form of amusement as I ate my packed lunch on my office desk. Then I forgot about it as I lived more of the real life instead of the virtual. Now that I have lots of time, it is great to rediscover it again. But I have to warn you that this is quite addictive so unless you have a strong self control and actually have spare time, do not try this! Hehehe.

Thank you Yahoo Games for this wonderful game which keeps me company and helps me pass time on these bumming days. My hubby is also now addicted to this game (uh-oh).

P.S. Don't tell me I didn't warn you that this is addictive. Seriously. Hehehe. ;p

Happy egg-smashing!

Chokos!

2010-06-01T23:59:00.006+08:00

In my quest to cook tinola for my hubby, I tried to find the essential ingredient which is a green papaya or a sayote (chayote). I've observed that both are not commonly found in groceries and markets here in Singapore. In the first big grocery we went to, the best I could find was a ripe papaya. Then I went to a grocery near our place, hoping to find any of them. I found a green papaya alright (imported from the Philippines), but I had a feeling it is already ripe even if it is green outside. I was ready to get it anyway and I was also planning on getting an old cucumber as a supplement until finally, after a gazillion times of walking round and round the vegetable area, I found the sayote! And they're not called sayote here but chokos! Hehehe.

So there, ladies and gentlemen, I have successfully cooked tinolang manok (chicken tinola) which my hubby rated 10 out of 10. Yay! :)

Today's Lesson

2010-05-27T17:20:00.007+08:00

~You have to walk into the desert to see the oasis.~

And that sometimes, you just have to step in to that door to find what you're looking for, because the outside doesn't speak for what's inside.

***

It was quite amusing what I have discovered and realized today. I don't know yet if what was shown to me today would be the one that's meant for me, but if not, then I am just glad that I gained something out of experiencing this from a good way. Atleast there's now a spark of light in the dark tunnel.

A Plea

2010-05-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

Dearest Lord,

Please take away all the bitterness, angst and fear in my heart.
Please fill it up instead with hope, trust and peace.
May any doubts and regrets I have be erased.
May faith and strength instead be placed.
Please hold me to stop my restlessness,
Because I am very cold and scared.

Kiss The Cook

2010-05-20T11:42:00.026+08:00

There is always a bright side to everything as they say and one of the good thing about being jobless is I get to cook for my hubby. Cooking is one of the things I love to do but which I have been rarely doing since it is quite convenient and cheap to eat out in Singapore (Did you know that I actually wanted to be a chef when I was young?) plus having a husband who cooks really, really well (cooking is his passion), I tend to just leave the cooking to him. But now's the opportunity for me to rekindle my cooking skills. I just love it when hubby gets home with a home cooked meal waiting for him and that look when he eats is very dear and worth all the effort. So far I have been cooking mostly Filipino dishes for him although I did have a try on some Western dishes. Here's some dishes that I have cooked for him:

Fried Marinated chicken breast with pasta in pesto and mustard sauce
Fetuccini mushroom carbonara (oh yeah baby ;)
Pork topping in oyster sauce
Squid Adobo (hubby's all time favorite)
Long beans adobo (in Tagalog, Adobong sitaw)
Menudo (ground pork in soy sauce with carrots, potatoes and raisins)

Haha, I know, it's not a lot. But this does not include those easy to cook things like fried eggs, bacon and canned goods. I am thinking of more dishes to cook, maybe I could even try some of the more complicated Filipino dishes like Kare-kare and embutido. Here's a few that I think I'd do next:

Sinigang na Hipon
Pork adobo
Paksiw na isda
Pinakbet Tagalog
Tinolang manok
Nilagang baka
Sayote guisado (if i do find a sayote here)
Pininyahang manok
Tortang talong
Munggo guisado
Okoy

Any suggestions are also welcome :) I did not put the English translations on the above because hubby might be reading this and I don't want to spoil the surprise (Sweetie, if you're reading this, you are not allowed to ask your Pinoy friends for translation, ok? :P

Bloody rejected

2010-05-16T15:00:00.002+08:00

The title of this entry is supposed to be "My first blood donation" but then after filling out a very comprehensive form and passing the medical screening, it was discovered that I am a mutant.

Waaah! The nurse could not see my veins on top of my elbows in both of my arms and she said my veins were too close to my bones and it would hurt. She advised me to do some weightlifting to help make my veins surface out.

Well, I shouldn't be that surprised, given that last year and 5 years ago, in different clinics, both nurses also couldn't find my vein and they ended up taking my blood sample from the back of my hand.

I asked the nurse in the blood donation to just get it from the back of my hand. She wouldn't hear of it. I guess it's because it would really hurt and would bruise. My hubby said they injected aneasthetics on his vein before pricking him with the big needle for getting 450ml of blood.

Sigh, so much for my attempt to do a noble deed. I feel so abnormal. But hubby said I should still feel good, because if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have thought of donating blood. He said he'll be donating for the two of us. Awwwww.

To Lighten Up Things

2010-05-14T17:05:00.027+08:00

I'm highlighting two sequel movies I've watched lately which I didn't expect that I'd like but surprisingly I enjoyed watching them:

Iron Man 2

I was not expecting much on this movie since I did not at all like Iron Man 1 (it felt like the Iron Man 1 was pointless, the plot could've been squeezed into a half an hour scene). But like it was meant to be for me to watch this, I won two tickets to an advanced screening with free popcorn and drinks! (Thank you, Starhub!)

The movie was super cool! I loved the screenplay and the effects. The actors did great! My only regret is that we got out of the cinema without finishing the credits so we missed the hidden scene. I don't like it when they do that, especially when the credits are too long, we actually waited for a few minutes because we felt there might be somemore scene but we left when the credits seemed to take eternity to finish and the cinema lights were all switched on.

Ip Man 2
I also wasn't expecting much about this movie since I didn't watch Ip Man 1 and I thought I might not be able to understand this sequel. I also thought that this movie might be full of martial arts fight scenes which I don't really fancy watching so I was prepared to sit in the cinema and get bored. Although there was a little bit of curiosity inside me about this, because when Ip Man 1 was shown before, I actually thought it was a movie about internet technology, because I read it as I-P Man (I.P. as in internet protocol). I thought it was something about a man who did something about hacking IP addresses, hehe. Ok, I'm such a geek! :P

Anyway, I guess the trailer just misled me, because the movie had a very good plot about respect and dignity and not at all just a 100 minute exhibition of martial arts. Ip Man was actually a true story about Ip Man, a martial arts teacher and the master and inspiration of Bruce Lee.

Thanks to my hubby for making me watch this. It was a great discovery for me :)

Enough! Just Run Away!

2010-05-12T17:46:00.003+08:00

I have had enough sulking! I am not going to let things put me down.
I believe in standing up for your principles even if it does hurt when it is shoved upon your face. I am an upholder of justice and I shall not lose hope. I will focus on the blessings instead.

And I will just run this away. No, I don't mean running away from problems and challenges. What I mean is to run, literally, as in run your legs and have a work out. It's a good stress reliever and a great way to lose excess weight.

Tomorrow shall be a better day.

How Long Would You Stand for your Principles?

2010-05-11T13:46:00.008+08:00

Lately, I have been taking stands with regards to my principles. I had been standing firm with what I believe in.

It has not been easy. Especially if it is not bringing you to what you expected to be and worse, it just makes you look so desperate.

Am I expecting too much? Am I just putting myself high up there? Should I just stoop down and compromise what I believe in? Should I just set my expectations low?

I really don't know what's happening right now. I am confused. This is quite a test of patience and faith indeed.

But I should hold on and keep believing that there is a great plan for me.

But Wait, There's More!

2010-05-08T10:58:00.006+08:00

Just when I thought that from bad to worse is enough, fate has decided to play a big joke on me and turned things to the worst.

Un-be-lie-vable.

Injustice is served.

Could things get even worse?

2010-05-07T16:42:00.012+08:00

Oh Yes.

Fate seemed to have decided to test me even more, maybe read my post yesterday and decided to crash my remaining self-esteem altogether.

Why can't I get used to this? Why?

I feel so disheartened right now although I have this strange feeling that this is another one of those chapters in life that something is to be learned and afterwards it will bear fruits. But for now I have to be strong and resist being overcome by this shadow of gloom.

I should not think too much. I should not complicate life.

I should just be humble and accept things as they are.

Maybe this stepping down could actually be the start of moving up from the middle of a dead end plateau where I had been feeling that I've been stuck at.

I Ask Too Much

2010-05-06T21:42:00.007+08:00

Have you ever wished for something but when you got it you were not overjoyed?

It was like finding the last piece to complete the puzzle but when you looked at the puzzle, the picture didn't make sense?

It isn't what I expected it to be. I feel that I just have no choice. I don't have that feeling that it is meant for me. I feel demoted, I am back to square one. I am already predicting all the possible miseries that could happen.

Why I am being like this? I should be thankful to God that He granted me this. It is a blessing. Perhaps the turn of events will eventually make things the way I hoped it would be. Perhaps I should just not expect too much. I should just be content with what was given to me. I should be happy.

Swallowing the Humble Pill for the Bullies

2010-05-05T16:52:00.004+08:00

Do you get that feeling that you wished you could've spoken back to someone who has given you a judgemental remark or someone who has accused you of something you didn't do or someone said something to provoke you but the situations were just so trivial that you just shrugged off and ignore it?

For example, today at the mall, a salesperson blocked off my path to offer a beauty product and when I waved my hand off to say no and I continued walking, he just shouted after me "Are you taking care of yourself? I don't think you are." I just continued to walk away but for a split second I thought of walking back to him to tell him he definitely wouldn't get any customers if that's how he sells his products.

Most of the time, I avoid confrontation as much as possible so I just shrug it off. But sometimes I wonder if I should talk back, because I shouldn't let these kind of people get encouraged with their bullying. Besides, if they could hurt my feelings and ego, why can't I give the same back to them, right?

But then again, I always remind myself that if I did talk back to them to crash their ego, then I would not be any better than them and I would just be stooping down to their level of immaturity. So yes, most of the time I just take the humble pill and keep my mouth shut. However, I do believe there should be a balance, especially in times when you are being accused unjustifiably. Like this time in the cinema when this teenager sitting in front of me turned around to tell me to stop kicking on her seat. Well, I got ticked because I wasn't kicking her seat, I was shifting my legs so I had to answer back that I wasn't kicking her seat. These kids should learn how to considerate and be polite when confronting people!

So ok, balance. That's the formula. I hope I'd be able to have the wisdom to assert myself in a mature way in dealing with these little bullies which are big enough to ruin your day.

When You Are Sad

2010-04-29T14:20:00.003+08:00

What you'd like to actually have is a listening ear and some assuring words.

Yes, you just need to hear all those cliche words of comfort like everything's going to turn out well, don't worry but just stay positive, it will happen in God's time, etc.

The last thing you want to hear is to be told that you're the one creating your misery even if it may be true.

On a dark 4:30pm

2010-04-28T16:24:00.007+08:00

It's raining cats and dogs right now, complete with roaring thunder and flashing lightning.

It's only 4:30pm but it looks like it's 7pm. At least my bougainvillea plants got a shower today, I forgot to water them this morning.

I have just finished spring cleaning the living room, dining room and even the shoe closet. I should be happy with this achievement, as now it feels so nice to have a very clean surrounding. But no ring on my phone today, no important email in my inbox, nothing still that would motivate me to look forward to something.

I feel my positive battery is going low and I am starting to be anxious and restless. I really hate uncertainties, I hate waiting for a dateless time. I feel helpless.

What has happened? Have I jinxed myself?

I need to help myself, I need to reverse this negativity that is starting to consume me. For now just write, enjoy all these free time.

It will happen, missy. There is a great plan.

My dry hair was appreciated! :D

2010-04-09T16:12:00.014+08:00

I received an email today from Locks of Love containing a Certificate of Appreciation for my donation. :D

Just a couple of hours earlier, I got a call from my last job telling me that they were giving me almost a month's salary bonus as an appreciation of the contribution I've done for the company during my 11 months placement with them.

Guess which of the two made me really happy?

I'm going to grow my hair long again ;)

Yeah, baby! Drive me crazy!

2010-04-08T13:06:00.007+08:00

I passed my Singapore basic driving theory exam in one take last night! woohoo!

I thought it was going to be difficult because I heard that the exam was tricky but you just really have to diligently read and understand the driving handbook from cover to cover (about 60 pages) and you'll be fine ;)

So this morning I was finally able to convert my Philippines driving license to a Singapore driving licence in less than 15 minutes (I love being available to do these kind of stuff on weekdays!) No sweat! (Well except from the humidity, hehehe) ;) Just have to make sure you got all your documents and requirements with you.

Ok, so now I can drive in this island. Let's go!

But wait....I don't have a car! hahahaha :D

***
Helpful link on conversion of foreign license to Singapore licence

Job Interview

2010-04-07T17:10:00.011+08:00

It is like a blind date.

You don't know how the ambiance would be, maybe you'll be in a big, cold conference room or a tiny, little space.

You don't know who will be sitting behind the panel to interrogate you.

Maybe the interviewer will be a warm person and then that'll be fantastic, or maybe just oblivious, which is still fine. But if you're running out of luck, you'll find someone who's ready to crash down your self esteem by almost feeling that your CV is literally being stomped at or crumpled into a ball and thrown into a rubbish bin in Mars. This is what we call a disaster date. You can't wait to get out of that interview room and strip your nicely ironed clothes off before you get infected with the Scrooge's virus. I've had a couple of those before and I hope I won't get anymore now that I am job hunting again.

Well, if we want to find the right match, we have to go through all of these, right?

Becoming a bumble bee - again!

2010-04-05T11:08:00.009+08:00

Yeah, this is like déja vu, isn't it? It didn't feel like it has been only a year ago though. My being a bumble bee last year lasted for only about 6 weeks and this time I am hoping it would be shorter, given that the market has definitely picked up. If last year I was bold enough to quit my job at the peak of the economic crisis and managed to get a job, I shouldn't be scared this time, right? (Crossing my fingers and hoping I don't jinx myself by saying this!)

Anyhoo, I wanted to write about my musings on career, job and those stuff but that needs some kind of melancholic mood and right now I am in a perky, hyperactive state and I need to take this chance to get me rolling and have a good jumpstart.

And so of course, this means we are going to make a list. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we need that list to keep our sanity and focus and make ourselves feel that our existence still has some good purpose, hehe.

So here it goes:

1) Unpack all those things in the boxes - yup, 4 months since we've moved into our new place and hubby and I still have lots of our things in boxes!!!
2) Write the thank you cards for our wedding - it's never too late to say thanks, right?
3) Lose weight and lose that ugly tummy - no explanation needed, hahaha
4) Print out some wedding pictures and finish the album
5) Finish our wedding blog
6) Write vouches for my travbuddy friends
7) Get the critic award in travbuddy
8) Pass the basic theory driving test and get my Singapore driver license
9) Continue learning French
10) Enrol in flute lessons
11) Play more tennis - and to be maintained post bumble bee days!
12) Organize paper documents
13) Go cycling
14) Try on new make up and outfit styles
15) Swim
16) Learn new recipes
17) Think of themes for house parties
18) Learn one full dance song routine
19) Organize my shoes and wardrobe
20) Think of more environmental measures I can adopt in my lifestyle
21) Make new friends
22) Read more books
23) Print out those souvenir pictures for our souvenir frames
24) Job hunt - I almost forgot to write this! hahaha
25) Pray.

Wish me luck! :)

I need to go around the Philippines more!

2010-03-29T14:51:00.004+08:00

My Lakbayan grade is C!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

My Snorkeling Milestone

2010-03-25T13:22:00.005+08:00

I am happy and proud to say that I now know how to snorkel without panicking, hehehe. To think that I've almost given up on snorkeling because I thought I just didn't have the ability to breathe thru my mouth. So all I just needed actually was calm waters because those times I've tried snorkeling before, there were some big waves. Thank you calm waters of Honda Bay, Palawan, Philippines! :)

Now that I have proven that I can actually snorkel, maybe I can consider going for diving lessons? Hmmnn...

To you who look down on people from 3rd world countries

2010-03-23T15:55:00.003+08:00

With all due respect, I request you that when travelling to a third world country, please do respect the rules and regulations and the people there.

And please, do not get hysterical and demand for local people not to speak in their native language in front of you. When a local who has tried to explain to you many times in perfect English their policies, starts talking to your local travel companion in their local language, it is obviously to ask help to explain to you again because if you did understand their English as you have been shouting in their faces, why did you still keep insisting your point and challenging their system? Duh.

Respect begets respect.

Another Goode Cartoon (but not for Kids)

2010-03-13T11:34:00.021+08:00

It seems that hubby and I have this trend now of finding good things to watch during our holiday trips (or maybe we just watch too much TV! hehe). Last weekend, while relaxing in our hotel room in Ha Noi, Vietnam, we found this cartoon called The Goode Family on one of the cable channels (I think StarWorld). It about a "liberal", environmental, family who always try to be politically correct. The mom is the main driver of the principles of this family, some of which are so extreme that they forced their pet dog to be vegetarian like themselves.

I like the unconventional, modern setup and the sarcastic humour of this cartoon which obviously is made to be appreciated by adults only, oops, or rather, for the matured audience (being an adult is not equal to being matured, hehehe).

Here's the episode that we watched and which I found later on was the premier episode of The Goode Family. Enjoy!

Bogambilya

2010-03-12T22:04:00.028+08:00

I've got a new obsession: watering our bougainvillea plants.

Yes, even if we live in condominium unit up on a high floor, we are fortunate that the design of our condo has a plant box right outside our living room window. So two weeks ago, I dragged hubby to the plant nursery near our place and we got us two pots of bougainvillea plants with lots of flowers in bloom. Yay! :D I thought that bougainvillea would be the perfect plant to liven up our window as it is not a high maintenance plant and would have a high chance of surviving in my greenthumb-less hands.

I've always had the notion that the bougainvillea plant loves lots of sunshine and less water. So at first we just watered it once a day. When we came back home from our 4 day holiday from Vietnam though, we were sad to see our dear plants wiltering and at the verge of drying up. Almost all the flowers fell and the leaves looked so tired and malnourished.

Well, it wasn't surprising of course, given the Singapore humidity. We were hoping that it would rain on at least one day during the time we were gone but obviously it didn't. And to top it off, the temperature had actually gone up. It was quite easy to forget that the hottest season in Singapore has started since 3 airplane hours away, we were in North Vietnam where the temperature suddenly dropped to 19 degrees celcius.

Anyhow, I thought I'd try watering the plants twice a day now, once in the morning and once in the evening just to see how the plants would take it. And hey! They seemed to like it because now they're back to looking healthy and there's a lot of growing buds now. Weeee! :D

And to finally satisfy my curiousity, I did a quick internet research about bougainvilleas and found out that they indeed love water as much as they love the sun! So now I'm just obsessing with looking at them every now and then when I'm at home to see if the soil is getting dry which means they need to be watered. Then I look at them some more to admire them and yes, sometimes I even talk to them to ask how they are. Hmmmnn, I've not gone crazy, have I? ;p

Rhymeee Timieee

2010-03-01T21:58:00.001+08:00

This little fishie's got too many thoughts lately.
One of them is that she thinks she's turning into an auntie.
Because she's starting to lack some sponteinity,
The weighing scale is getting very heavy,
The waistline and tummy are becoming more bulgy.
Even if she is not at all preggy.
Is she losing her individuality?
Has she forgotten how to party?
Or is she just mastering the art of laundry?
Well she's starting to feel that she's ugly.
So something needs to be changed immediately.

Uh-oh, this is a little scary.

That Funny Children's Cartoon with a Phineas

2010-02-23T13:10:00.016+08:00

During our quick getaway last weekend at Bintan, Indonesia, my husband and I were about to go out of our room to enjoy the beach when this cartoon on Disney Channel called Phineas and Ferb got me amused so I asked my hubby if we could stay in the room and just finish the episode "The Lake Nose Monster".

I swear that this episode is one the most hilariously funny scripts I've heard and I can totally say that it's almost equivalent to an episode of Friends. Not that this cartoon is for adults, this is a cartoon that is appropriate for kids indeed, but written with such a wit that would appeal to grown ups too. Just do not mispronounce Phineas or for sure it would definitely sound like an adult cartoon, hahaha (it's pronounced Fee-nee-yas, how did you pronounce it first? :P )

There's something we found interestingly bizarre about this cartoon too. Ferb and the Dad have British accents. My husband guessed that Phineas and Ferb could be step brothers. I dismissed this and said probably not because kids' cartoon usually features a "traditional" family set up. But then, after doing some "research" about this cartoon, I found out that my husband is right, Phineas and Ferb are step brothers! Ferb and his dad are from England and Phineas, his mom and sister Candace, are American (and I should move on, evolve and adjust to the new modern day cartoon world, hahaha).

I actually like it how this cartoon used an unconventional family setting to show realism instead of dysfunction. Even the family pet is unconventional (what other cartoon would have a platypus as a pet! haha)

Anyhow, my husband and I enjoyed this cartoon so much that up to now we are still mimmicking some lines we borrowed from it. Makes me consider to subscribe to Disney channel now, hehehe.

(Snap fingers) OK! :P

********

Here's the episode. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Lady Gaya-Gaya***

2010-02-14T17:32:00.015+08:00

Inspired by my little sis, I did it too! :D

I got my hair cut and donated it to Locks of Love . I just hope they won't mind my dry hair, hehehe.

Before

Now

The memory of the dry hair :P

***Gaya-gaya - Filipino word meaning "copy cat".

Our Sentence for Today

2009-12-16T15:33:00.006+08:00

At lunch today, I took my seat at the eatery and as I was about to take my first spoon of food, the boy of about 7 years old, sitting across me said something to me. I didn't understand it so I asked what he said. He repeated what he said but I still didn't understand it.

Was this boy speaking in another language? It didn't sound English nor Chinese. It sounded more like Russian or German or something non-Asian.

I think I made him repeat what he said for about 5 times until finally my already pressured brain was able to process it:

"Here got people sit"

Four years and a half in this little red dot and yet I am still not fully used to it. Oh well, actually, I think I was more annoyed by the fact that I got bullied by a little boy who made me get up and transfer to another table only to find out that he only had 2 grannys with him. There were two more empty seats. Hmp.

Expected Acceleration?

2009-11-28T16:38:00.001+08:00

I don't even know where to start. I am thousands of meters up in the sky, on my way back from a one week work assignment in Taipei to Singapore, my home for a little over 4 years now. I am thinking of writing about what has happened over the past few months - why I haven't been writing and why I may have seemed away from the virtual world. Let's see how far I could go, with less than an hour before touchdown.

I could actually summarize all the reasons into one sentence: I have been busy in love.

But of course I shouldn't stop my explanation with that because I don't want to make it look like I abandoned one of my greatest passions in life (that is, writing), just because I found the man of my dreams and I am building a new life. Yes, it has been a year of changes and adjustments now -- got engaged, got new friends, got a new job, got a new place,and getting a new marital status next month...it all came one after the other, practically changing my lifestyle and up to now I am still trying to catch up. Not that I'm saying it's been tough, because it has been happy, blissfully happy actually, but of course, with those occasional little rocks. Did I think I was not ready for this sudden fast turn of pages in my life? Hmmnn, I didn't think so. Just think about all those years that I had been feeling that void, that loneliness that I was trying hard not to let consume me. I knew things would change when I find the right man and I was anticipating that much.

Now my question is, have the people around me been ready for my change of life? I know they are all happy for me but I know that they had to adjust. I just hope that they understand and that they don't take it against me. When before I was just little miss single unattached supergirl that has lots of spare time, now I have to balance my time to all the roles I have, not forgetting to still have my own alone time. I wish I could extend time, but well, a day remains at 24 hours. But although my priorities have changed, I hope they know that I am still the same person. I still value them very much. And I am trying my best to catch up.

Post wine thoughts

2009-08-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

Now I have proven:

That it is possible to consume 750mL of wine in a couple of hours.

That it is very hard to put on eye make-up on eyes which are sore from a lot of crying.

That I have the gift of instinct. Hmmm, should I even say it is a gift? Coz it seems like it only works on detecting the negative. I never win on lucky draws and lottery but I can sense it when somebody is not telling the truth or is up on something fishy. Before, I do try to dismiss it as just maybe paranoia, but I think now I can distinguish the two now.

Fantastic. So I guess I have a sixth sense? Well, but then why am I not seeing ghosts?
On the other hand, I actually find un-dead ghosts, I discover they are actually alive. So please, don't tell me about being haunted by the past. What is dead does not linger.

I wonder why I could not just have the gift of luck. I mean, I have good intentions anyway.

I really don't understand why some people are just plain lucky.

I Love Reader's Digest

2009-07-29T11:08:00.008+08:00

Last week, I decided to subscribe to Reader's Digest and I received my first copy in the mail just a few days after (how efficient!) plus the free jewelry gift set which did not look as I have expected (not as nice as it was in the photo, hehe).

I grew up reading this magazine because we lived with my aunt who subscribed to it. I found Reader's Digest easy to read and very interesting. Even at a young age I already enjoyed reading inspirational stories. As I grew older, I noticed this fascination did not fade, and even got stronger, hence my love for motivational reads like that of Paulo Coelho's, Nicholas Sparks', Mitch Albom's and the likes.

A couple of weeks ago I attended a motivational seminar and it triggered something in me that I had put to sleep for a few months so I could go on with a more "normal" and "cool" life. It made me remember what I really want to do with my life, that which would really make me happy. I want to do inspirational things thru writing or thru flowers, or thru whatever I can. It awakened back the introvert in me, oh no, not the introvert who writes technology programs and resolve software problems, but the one who thinks of how to touch person's lives.

Then last week I started reading a book which was a collection of stories from Reader's Digest. I learned there how Reader's Digest was founded by husband and wife, William Roy DeWitt Wallace and Lila Acheson, because they wanted to publish a collection of inspirational stories. This made me fall in love more with this magazine and made me go online that night and purchase that subscription. When I got my first copy, I have been reading it page by page. Even the ads put on the effort to make a little senseful article and not just those commercialized ads we see now usually. I even learned that Reader's Digest doesn't publish tobacco and liquor ads! I really, really heart them! A magazine with principles. My hubby-to-be loved the magazine too.

I wish I could do something like what William and Lila did in Reader's Digest. I want to do something that could make a difference to the world too, something that would give hope and inspiration. You know what I'm thinking of right now? I'm thinking how can I actually make it to Reader's Digest staff...I would really love to be a writer/researcher/reporter for this magazine!

Bad dream + Bad shoes = Bad day

2009-06-15T11:42:00.009+08:00

It is one of those bad days when you wake up from a terrible dream, when you try to wear your pants that used to fit your waistline and see that now you have that very ugly belly literally bulging out and it is not because you're pregnant, and as you walk going to work and your feet are killing you, you realize why you've stopped wearing the shoes you decided to wear again today. And as you sit at your office desk, you can't wait for the day to end.

Don't get me wrong. It has been very blissful, life that is.I know it is a bit unfair that I haven't been writing much about the happy times, and yet when I'm sad, here I am suddenly blabbering as much as I can.

But just that sometimes, something happens that reminds you to check if you still have some pride and check if you can still toughen up and live your own life. It is your way of fighting off the insecurities that start to creep up on you on these vulnurable times.

And you feel really, really ugly :(

I need lots of positive energy, big time.

A Lazy Bum in Guam

2009-04-23T08:08:00.009+08:00

I am currently in Guam, an island in the Pacific (part of the Marianas group of islands), and which is also a territory of the United States of America. I am here visiting my little sister for a week.

Here are some pics of our adventures so far:

Day 1 - none because I spent the whole day bumming at home, hehehe

Day 2 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617060656099

Day 3 & 4 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617217746076

I am the real winner! :D

2009-04-10T09:19:00.004+08:00

This really made my day! Thank you, Capt. Marvel! :D

6AM Thoughts

2009-04-09T06:00:00.007+08:00

What could make you wide awake at 4 in the morning and be still so at 6?

A nightmare. A very terrible, terrible nightmare that you never want to happen ever but it felt so real so you get so disoriented.

And a tummyache too. I guess the lychee martini drink for ladies night wasn't as diluted as I thought after all, or maybe it was the tonic water that nailed it...

Whatever.

Blah.

***

Thank God for a sister who lives at the other side of the world who's got an opposite time zone and you could call to talk to at that moment.

The Non-Valid Thoughts

2009-04-03T12:52:00.001+08:00

There are times when your insecurities will try to creep in, filling your mind with thoughts that you know you shouldn't have.

Then you start being irrational and unfair. You start asking questions that have no right answers, you start to question the past. You start to ask for more than what you have, when all along you already have all that you need. It makes you want to look for a ghost that isn't dead, but all the while hoping that you wouldn't find it because you wanted it to remain dead.

Then you doubt yourself. You scare yourself with what ifs and why nots. You prepare yourself for a battle with your imagination. You think that time is still not on your side. For now it is but just acceptance -- that sometimes you get a name that is not yours.

But all these shall pass, because you know yourself and because you know that no matter what, you have a good heart.

Becoming a bumble bee

2009-03-12T15:18:00.005+08:00

In commemoration (haha, what a use of word!) of my becoming a bum soon, I am listing down the activities that would keep me busy and amused. The general aim is for me to make use of my bumming days to look and feel fabulously beautiful (mwahahaha):

1) Have a haircut
2) Go to the gym until I lose 10 kilos and become super sexy :P
3) Swim regularly
4) Play more tennis
5) Enrol in dance classes
6) Watch movies
7) Spring clean my bedroom and the whole house
8) Do grocery shopping
9) Read back log books
10) Write write write
11) Go to the library
12) Wedding planning and preparation
13) Try out new make up styles
14) Whiten my teeth :D
15) Fix my wardrobe
16) Organize my important paper documents
17) Organize my files in my computer
18) Print out and organize my parents’ travel pictures
19) Catch up with people I miss
20) Re-activate my travbuddy and facebook life
21) Write vouches for my TB friends
22) Upgrade/Update myself on my IT skills (haha, how nerdy!)
23) Learn to bake
24) Job hunt (yeah, of course! I'm not planning to bum forever! :P)
25) Pray

Good luck to me! :P

Wait! I just want to say...

2009-02-27T11:53:00.005+08:00

That I'm not retiring Silentwaves! I'm still going to keep this blog alive.

Hummingwaves is meant to complement Silentwaves.

okiedokie? ;)

From Silentwaves to Hummingwaves

2009-02-23T21:34:00.003+08:00

Since I am starting a new life, I thought I'd document it by creating a separate blog for it.

Follow my new walk of life on

http://hummingwaves.blogspot.com/

From a cold, cold Paris

2009-02-10T23:59:00.005+08:00

The second and one of the most crucial step was accomplished today.

I did it!

Finally!

Whoohoo!

I am going to be a bumble bee!!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Promenade

2009-01-30T23:59:00.001+08:00

The first of many steps

was accomplished today!

Let's get ready! ;)

As Capt. Buzz Lightyear says: To infinity and beyond

2009-01-21T23:59:00.002+08:00

Cheers to a month,

of laughter and love,

and to forever...

Boracay-Manila escapade: Make it or Break it

2009-01-12T23:59:00.003+08:00

We made it! :)

whew! :D

How long is enough time?

2009-01-06T17:36:00.008+08:00

Do you ever have this feeling of wondering why you seem to owe everyone an explanation for being happy just because your happiness came in suddenly, unexpectedly?

Although I know my family and friends are happy for me, I still get a little hurt from the occasional doubts here and there, from candid reactions that make me think how some people see me -- easy, impulsive and gullible. I do understand that they are just concerned about me, cautious about me falling for the same pit I seem to be falling into for the past years. Indeed, my track record does not do me justice. Well, I really do not believe that there is something wrong with easily giving my trust, I still believe I should not change myself for that. I think the wrong I did was that I had been too transparent to everyone. I shared every little thing -- I met this guy, I think he's great, I'm happy...then when he turns out to be a jerk, I have to face everyone for that and eat back all of the good things I've said. And just because I was single, each man I go out with, everyone thinks was a potential romantic love. Couldn't a single woman go out with a man as acquaintances or friends? I have my own reasons for hanging out with people and socializing: because I want to have many friends and in some cases because I think this man needs a friend.

I just wish that everyone trust me this time. I did not make a hasty decision. Things happened in a most natural way, and I do believe because it was meant to be. I do understand and appreciate your concerns but really, I do think I'm mature enough. To know someone is not at all just about time, rather, how one is willing to show his real side. You can spend years and decades being with someone but not knowing who he really is. On the other hand, you can spend one magical week with someone sincere and know that you want to spend the rest of your life discovering and loving him more each day.

I tell myself right now that time is not yet on my side. This is all just a matter of time. In a few months, I could look back on this, smile and say, See?

A (Food Safari) Walk to Remember

2009-01-03T23:59:00.004+08:00

Thank you, Malvin, for sharing with us a walk of your life in Singapore.

It was indeed very lovely and worth smelling all those Durian (haha :P )

My first new year in Singapore

2009-01-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

Was the best! ;)

New year's eve countdown and fireworks was a blast!

And karaoke and wine on new year's day was a smash!

Can't wait to see what's more in store for the rest of the year! woohoo! ;)

The longest 3 and a half hour plane ride

2008-12-28T23:59:00.001+08:00

Never have I thought that someday I would feel so much anticipation in going back to Singapore from Manila.

Many times I have said that I will never have a Singaporean boyfriend.

But just one look at the man waiting there for me was enough reason to smile at all the ironies of my life.

Fate indeed has its funny way of twisting things. I love it! ;)

Chasing a volcano

2008-12-27T23:59:00.006+08:00

It's unbelievable how one of the most violent and disruptive eruptions could create this amazing beauty, huh?

Mount Pinatubo's crater lake
Zambales, Philippines

Trekking for this paradise was one super great experience! Highly recommended! ;)

***
Read more about the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1991 here.

Monkey playing drums

2008-12-21T23:59:00.004+08:00

They say that the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach.

I say: the way to a woman's heart is thru laughter.

Today's laughter was brought to you by: Yes Man starring Jim Carrey. Ahhh, I love this guy. ;)

My first Zoukout

2008-12-14T17:18:00.004+08:00

Was a fantastic night, with the full moon up, the music, the sand, the fireworks and the company of people you enjoy being with.

****

Zoukout is an annual beach party event in Singapore held sometime during December. It started 3 years ago as a big new year's eve party in Siloso beach in Sentosa Island of Singapore and I guess due its success, they made it a regular event.

I can only offer my prayers

2008-12-12T16:43:00.001+08:00

Right now, I don't think there would be any words of consolation that one can offer to two of my good friends who lost their first baby just one week before he was due to see the world.

And so I can only offer my prayers to them, that they may be strong in this faith shaking moment.

I am deeply shocked and sad about this. I myself could not understand why things could be so ironic. And I thought it was actually another one of my answered prayers, because I remember that one time in the cab last year when we talked about their longing to have a child, which for years they had been trying to have. I told them to keep their hope and faith, that in the right time it will happen. I prayed for them, for God to grant them their wish. And what joy I had when I learned a few months later that they were finally expecting a baby...

But there are things which are beyond our comprehension. I still do believe there is a reason for everything, for all our challenges, no matter how faith shaking.

I wish I could give comfort to them. But for right now, I think that the best thing to give are silent prayers.

Blessed be.

Tennis and beer

2008-12-11T23:44:00.005+08:00

Ok, I'm gonna try something new -- I am going to write something right now, when I am a bit tipsy from having some beer with my good friends, my tennis buddies Chris, Janine and Sherrie.

So tonight we had our last tennis match for this year. We had been playing doubles for a couple of months now, with Janine and Chris playing together against me and Sherrie. Janine and Chris are a couple from Germany who are here in Singapore for study. Next week they would be going on their holidays in Australia then they'd be back in Singapore and will be here until the end of February next year, and then they return back to Germany. They used to be my neighbors too until they moved out last month. Sherrie is my Singaporean neighbor, whom I play tennis with during our tennis lessons until we decided to play singles on our own once a week and then another day once a week with Chris and Janine.

Anyhoo, going back to beer, so tonight we decided to switch partners. I played with Chris and Sherrie played with Janine. Chris and I won the first round: 6-4. On the second round, it was a tie at 6-6 and we didn't have enough time to do a tie breaker. Then we went to a nearby hawker to have some beer and oh boy, I don't know if it is because it was Tiger beer, or if it was because I have not had beer for about month, or if it was because I was tired from tennis, but I cannot believe that a couple mugs of beer would make me this tipsy. Yikes. I don't even know how I am going to take a shower now. All I want to do is to just lie down on my bed and sleep. But nope, not with my sweaty tennis clothes on so I have to go and get that shower.

Ok, I think so far I am still making sense, right? This would really be interesting to read tomorrow, when I am all sobered up and in my senses. Well, I am not really drunk drunk, just what I said, I'm just tipsy, hehehe. You know, there's this famous Filipino writer in the Philippines, Nick Joaquin, who can write his masterpieces when he is drunk. Maybe I could try to be his female version? hehehe.

Anyways, I just want to say that this was such a good night and I am just so happy to have my tennis buddies, they are such a joy to be with. It is just funny to discover that this is the effect of beer on me after tennis.

That's it.

hehe. :P

Will you take a chance?

2008-12-10T16:24:00.006+08:00

On yellow and purple roses that say:

"I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye"?

I need blueberry cheesecake

2008-12-10T00:30:00.005+08:00

Right now.

Badly needed.

Please, please, please, I need a blueberry cheesecake.

The Happy Long Weekend

2008-12-09T15:21:00.003+08:00

Was brought to you by:

Bellini Grande
McDonald's
Sizzler
TCC
Geylang
Raffles Place
Boat Quay
Harry's
and McDonald's (again)

Yes, let's just be fluffy! woot! ;)

The little black dress

2008-12-04T20:56:00.009+08:00

I think there's this little black dress which every woman should have. The one which makes her feel sexy and confident about her look. And I found mine (although it's not so little really) :) Then I also found the perfect belt to match it with and voila! I got the perfect outfit! I wore it to work today and a number of my lady colleagues gave me compliments, they loved my belt most especially. I love it too!

And the great thing about it is that I even got the dress for a good price, quite half the usual price for a dress here.

Dress: Tom & Stephanie department store at West Mall in Bukit Batok, Singapore (S$30)
Belt: Reds boutique at West Mall in Bukit Batok, Singapore (S$49)

(Yeah, the belt is even more expensive than the dress! Haha :P )

Since the belt was already sparkling with glass, the accessories/jewelries shoud not be sparkly too so I just wore pearl stud earrings, I didn't wear any necklace and bracelet.

For the shoes, plain black high heeled sandals were the best match. ;)